I have heard stories which signifies how funny some people can be in terms of insecurity as regarding the wealth of their female spouse.
I don't clearly know why this is so but I think I have a pretty good idea of what I can is say anchoring this attitude or character from them.
I don't know much of the whites, but so much as I can tell, this has been a major issue in Africa as a whole — especially to those parts of Africa where culture is still seen as a “live or die” way of life (if you know what I mean).
An African man will always have the idea of being the bread winner of the family. While this is just normal and the way things were meant to be,
it takes their mind to a completely different state of reasoning that if such didn't seem to happen,
or if it happened the other way round, it is a big crime they can't live for. To be honest, most people would prefer dying than live in a situation as that.
I was with a friend who told me he had gone to eat someday at a local eating joint (Mama Put as my country people will call them).
He had ordered his meal, which had got an additional cost of half of its original price.
He was wondering what the hell is the country turning into due to the level at which prices of items are increasingly rising each new day.
In the middle of his thoughts and dinner, a man walked in and ordered for his own meal, which was damn expensive.
Having ordered such an expensive meal, the woman in charge of the food selling was forced to ask if the wife travelled since she must have known the family for some time now.
He responded by saying she is at home and had prepared him a meal, but he had refused to eat because the meal was prepared from the wife's money and not his.
I was like WTF! Is he just saying it or did he really mean every word he had said? And to be honest,
this wasn't even difficult to believe because I personally have seen and heard of many cases as such that had made me almost gone nuts.
Recently, on the birthday of a man, his wife had come in with an expensive gift to the man in front of his friends and others who were celebrating his birthday with him in the room.
She (his wife) had responsibly presented the car key to the husband as a birthday gift and the others had cheered,
but the man, within him wasn't happy because he had felt embarrassed of his wife presenting such expensive gift to him (in public). It was later on he opened up, and we all got to know.
To me, and I guess to all others here too, the above display of the man had been selfish, childish or whatever seems fit for me to call it.
Being the man doesn't mean that women does not stand a chance to cook a meal out of their own pocket once in a while,
or having to get you expensive gifts as such car on your birthday. The explanation the man had given for his feelings was that he felt the wife was trying to mock him for not having a higher paying job as her.
Many of such circumstances had unfolded, which left us wondering if at all women is not supposed to have wealth of their own while venturing into marriage.
This is the insecurity most African men have towards their wives having loads of money or having a decent job way better than theirs. Some might even get so worked up to the point of having their wives quit the job. 1
Believing they can handle the situation financially and their wives don't need to work. Although, we have seen most cases where women maltreat their husbands because they pay the bills.
Nevertheless, If only this mentality could change, it would be a much more sensible world.